


Hear About a Party, Here's the Procedure

by pennysparrow



Series: Flower Shop AU [10]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College, Drinking Games, F/M, Gen, Modern Era, Underage Drinking, college party, there's some characters who cameo from other stuff but you don't need to know who they are, they're mostly there for my own amusement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-30 21:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15105494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennysparrow/pseuds/pennysparrow
Summary: Kath and the boys throw a surprise party for Jack and antics ensue.Title from Mean Girls "Whose House Is This?"*one shot*





	Hear About a Party, Here's the Procedure

**Author's Note:**

> No one gets hurt and this is pretty much what you would see in a PG movie but it does include lots of underage drinking.
> 
> I wrote this instead of packing for vacation. lol. I hope you guys accept this long and goofy fic as I go radio silent for the next two weeks and I hope that you enjoy!

How the boys got all the alcohol Katherine had no idea. The sheer amount of it was impressive and took up the entire kitchen table of the small apartment Mush and Blink shared. Add the fact that none of them could legally buy it and the mystery just grew. She figured that Spot must have connections thanks to his startling cross of charisma and intimidation as he was the one who showed up with duffel bags full of it to Jack’s birthday party a few hours before the other guests and birthday boy himself would arrive. 

Crutchie and Spot had suggested throwing a surprise party for Jack’s twentieth birthday, citing that Medda was out of town so their traditional family meal and celebrations wouldn’t happen until she came back. Mush and Blink eagerly offered their space, never ones to miss out on a party, and Racetrack wanted to help in any way he could considering a few months before Jack had surprised him with tickets to a production of Heathers for his own birthday. Kath told the boys that she would keep Jack as distracted as possible, meaning she’d been taking him on extra dates to keep him from getting suspicious as to why his brothers and best friends suddenly kept ditching him. By the weekend of the party though he was feeling a little neglected, so Kath took decorating duty and Race switched into her role of distraction slash getting him to the actual party. He and Finch were taking Jack to a comic convention and then a “poker game” at Mush and Blink’s. 

Kath was standing on a slightly wobbly chair that Blink had moved from the kitchen into the living room for extra seating and was trying to hang a banner that said: “Happy Birthday Jack!” The redhead who made it had followed Spot with his bags of booze into the apartment and was now amicably holding the other end while Kath wrestled with the tape. Getting it to stick she carefully hopped off the chair and handed the other girl the tape.

“You’re Katherine, right?” The girl asked. “Jack’s girlfriend?”

“Yep, that’s me,” Kath responded with a smile. She sidestepped Blink as he carried in more seating from who knew where. 

“I recognized you from his sketches, he’s always doodling you instead of paying attention,” she confided with a laugh. 

Katherine felt herself blush, Jack always said how much he liked to draw her, but she didn’t realize he did so enough and with such accuracy that his classmate might recognize her. The girl finished hanging her side of the banner and stepped down. She slipped the roll of painters’ tape onto her wrist and held out her hand to shake. “Rachel Elizabeth Dare, nice to meet you.” 

“Katherine Plumber,” she shook hands with a smile. 

There were still streamers to be hung but with Blink and Mush rearranging their living room Kath thought it best to wait. She slipped into the kitchen only to find Spot setting up the makeshift bar and Crutchie making pizza rolls, queso, and what looked like cookie cake. 

Katherine turned back to look at Rachel with a grimace, “Nowhere is really out of the way, is it?” 

Rachel laughed and backed into the bathroom, perching herself on the edge of the tub to wait out the chaos. Kath followed her and hopped up onto the counter. 

They chatted happily as they waited, swapping stories of some of the antics their different friends had gotten into. Soon they were able to finish decorating and more people started showing up, by the time all the found seats were taken and there was definitive standing room only in the apartment Spot got a text from Race saying they’d gotten to the building and were on their way up.

Spot hushed everyone, and the lights were flicked off as they waited for the door to open. It did, and Race turned on the lights; revealing the room full of people who all yelled surprise. Jack’s expression was priceless, his eyes going wide and jaw falling slack. He blinked before grinning and laughing, immediately grabbing Race and then Finch for hugs before moving on to the next people closest. 

When he got to Katherine he wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up to twirl her around. She laughed as he set her back on her feet before pulling her in to kiss her soundly on the mouth. “Were you in on this?” he asked. 

“Why do you think I kept monopolizing your free time?”

“Cause you loved me?”

“Eh. That’s only part of the reason.” Jack laughed at that and kissed her again before going to greet more of his guests. 

With Jack there the party could officially start. So, Spot and Race began mixing drinks while the guests descended on the food like a swarm of locusts. They were college kids and this was free food after all. 

Katherine was nursing her second glass of wine – Spot had brought a box thoughtfully labeled “Kath” just for her – when Albert flopped down onto the couch next to her. “Now I know what it feels like to be a Weasley,” he said as he took a sip from his own plastic cup. 

“Oh?” Katherine asked. It was early in the night, so people were chatting and no one had suggested any drinking games yet, meaning they were all still relatively sober. Despite this Katherine had no idea what Albert might be talking about. 

“I’ve never seen so many other gingers in one room before,” he gestured between them and then out across the space where Rachel was chatting with Sarah from the theater department about mazes or something and another of Jack’s friends from his art classes was talking to Spot about a Brooklyn bookstore they both loved while her mildly intimidating and disarmingly attractive boyfriend listened with amusement. 

Katherine rolled her eyes but snorted, shoving Albert lightly as he snickered. He got up, having made his joke, and went to talk to Elmer and Romeo. Jack took his vacated seat next to her with a smile. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” she asked him

“Yes! I can’t believe you guys pulled this off. And you even got Karen, Ana, Kyle, and Jimmy here!” He looked around the room excitedly before turning his goofy grin to her. She laughed and leaned in to kiss the ridiculous expression off his face. And was succeeding until someone started wolf whistling at them. 

Crutchie came over and squeezed himself between them. Saying something about “none of that” and “I like this couch and don’t want to make Mush disinfect it.” He settled his elbow crutches under their feet and picked up his travel mug that was likely filled with sangria – and when did Spot have the time to make that? “Besides, we’re about to start the night’s entertainment.” 

“And what might that be?” Jack asked. 

“Never have I ever!” Race answered as he situated himself on the arm of the couch on Jack’s other side. 

Katherine looked down at her cup forlornly. “I’m going to need more wine for this.”

“I’ve got ya, Pulitzer,” Spot said as he handed her another cup with a wicked smile. 

She took it with a shake of her head as people began moving into a loose circle around the coffee table covered in snacks. Once a majority was settled Race clapped his hands and rubbed them together eagerly, getting everyone’s attention. 

“Alrighty folks, here’s how it’s gonna work. You start with ten fingers up,” he held out his own splayed hands to demonstrate, “and someone says ‘never have I ever’ and whatever it is they haven’t done. If you have done that you clap, indicating your shame and/or adventurousness – and also so we know who to question for gory details – before taking a drink and eliminating a finger.” Race folded down his thumb as an example. “Once you’re out of fingers you are expected to finish your drink as penance for your deeds or reward for a thrilling life, depending, and then are out of the game. Feel free to stay and heckle though. Person with the highest negative can win a crown.” At this Race pulled a plastic crown from behind his back and Katherine nearly spit out her wine. She had zero idea where he produced that from. “I’ll start and we’re going clockwise! Ok. Never have I ever... owned a dog.” 

The sound of people clapping was like popcorn and accompanied by grumblings that were silenced by people taking their drinks. Race preened and his eyes seemed to spark with mischief when he met Kath’s gaze. 

“You never owned a dog?” He seemed genuinely surprised she hadn’t clapped. 

“My father refused. Shocking, I know. What’s your excuse for being able to use such a mean one?”

“Mom said there was enough people already running around the house and creating tripping hazards,” Race replied with an easy shrug. Katherine found herself laughing as he turned his attention to Finch who was the next person in the circle. 

“Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex,” Finch said, the glint in his eye calculated as nearly everyone clapped and took a drink. “Token straight friend for the win!” He said triumphantly. 

“Shut up you goof,” Crutchie told him with a good-natured eye roll. 

“Hey, I’m in it to win it,” Finch joked back. 

The game continued as people said more general statements that easily got people out like never owning different types of pets or never leaving the country or jumping out of a plane. And some that only got very few people out like never driving a car for which only Race and some of Jack’s theater and art friends clapped. (“Romeo. We live in New York. What the hell was that?” “I couldn’t think of anything else ok! I panicked!”) As the game wore on the statements became dirtier or more targeted. Including Crutchie’s “Never have I ever kissed Jack Kelly!” Which got a surprising amount of people out and left Kath with only two fingers. She looked at her boyfriend with raised eyebrows as he sputtered.

“We play a ridiculous amount of spin the bottle!” Jack said by way of defense, which was true and Kath couldn’t help but laugh at the chaos their other go-to party game had wrought on this one. 

Jack continued by never having lived in Brooklyn, earning a “fuck you” from Spot as he downed his rum and coke and a sad sigh from his friend Clary who was getting deeper into the negatives and on the fast track to winning Race’s crown. 

Race and Finch’s were both something ridiculously obscene that Kath had never heard of, nevertheless done, and for which no one clapped. When it came to Albert he had the meanest look on his face as he sat up straight. By this point everyone was comfortably tipsy with some bordering on drunk more than others and Albert was one of the ones closer to drunk. Albert was even more sarcastic drunk than he was sober. And he had some pretty cutting remarks sober. Katherine braced herself as he began to speak. 

“Never have I ever...” Albert paused for dramatic effect. “Gone by a name other than my own legal name.” Everyone still playing clapped and took a drink amid a deluge of cursing. 

Katherine knew why she was drinking and why Racetrack, Finch, and Crutchie were now all out but she quirked an eyebrow at Jack. 

He caught her look a blushed. “I answer to Cowboy way more than I should. An’ my first name’s Francis, Jonathan’s my middle name. So technically I go by a nickname for my middle name,” he admitted sheepishly. The alcohol slurring his words together some and causing his slight New York accent to strengthen. 

Katherine wasn’t mad, who would want to be saddled with a name like Francis. She was still a little surprised that after over a year of dating it hadn’t come up before. And she said as much. Sitting between the pair Crutchie looked supremely uncomfortable yet interested in the possibility of drama. 

Jack shrugged, “It’s embarassin’.”

Kath pursed her lips but decided not to pursue the topic further. The wine made her arguments muddled and slippery anyway. Instead she looked around the remaining handful of people still playing and thought about how she could get Jack out. Then the idea hit her. 

Over the summer Kath had gone paint balling with Jack and the boys and Smalls before going back to Medda’s for dinner after. She had taken one look at the six of them and sent them off to get showers. Being gentlemen, they let Kath and Smalls go first and so she had ended up chatting with Medda and setting the table as they waited for the boys. Jack was taking too long though so Medda had asked Kath to go knock on the door and tell him to hurry up or he’d miss dinner. She’d barely been able to knock she was laughing so hard and she must have startled Jack so much that he fell because there’d been a crash after she finally knocked. When he’d come down to dinner his ears were red and he hadn’t been able to meet Katherine’s eyes. 

Now she locked gazes with him and said as primly as she could, “Never have I ever been caught belting West Side Story in the shower.” 

Jack blanched, his mouth falling open in shock. “That- that was one time, Kath!” he stuttered. 

“That _she_ caught you,” Spot said with a smirk. 

Jack’s face began to blush and he clapped. “Well played,” Jack said when he took his drink. “But now it’s my turn,” he grinned. Kath hadn’t realized that he’d had more than one finger still up and she felt herself pale as Jack appraised the remaining players. A slow smile grew across his face as he looked between her, Rachel, and Albert. “Never have I ever had red hair.” 

Kath scowled, clapped, and downed the rest of her wine. Albert cursed and followed suit. Rachel laughed and waved her three remaining fingers at him. Katherine admired the other girl who had been smart about how she was playing, getting almost everybody on the comment about never hopping a subway terminal, something Kath hadn’t even thought about before. Rachel looked at Jack and quirked her lips to the side before speaking. “Never have I ever nerded out over a musical.” 

Jack frowned but finished his beer with dignity and a loud clap. Rachel stood and bowed as they all applauded her win. She then made her way over to give Jack a hug and wish him a happy birthday. She thanked Katherine and the boys for the party before leaving, citing having friends from California coming to visit in the morning. Race awarded his plastic crown to Clary who had done just about every mundane thing they’d listed over the course of the game, something her boyfriend couldn’t help but laugh at. He warned her about someone named Magnus stealing her tiara as they too left. 

The night was still young though and Spot had smuggled all of that booze so when Race pulled out a deck of cards to play Ride the Bus Kath eagerly joined in. She was well on her way to being drunk when they started playing King’s Cup and was dancing in the kitchen with Blink at the end of it. Mush had broken out his alt-rock playlist and she was screaming the words to Mr. Brightside with Crutchie when Jack found them collapsed on Blink’s bed. 

“You two are trashed,” he informed them dryly. 

“Heya Kath, I thinks Jack jus’ called us trash,” Crutchie slurred as Katherine giggled. She couldn’t see him from where she was laying but Kath pictured Jack shaking his head. 

“I don’t really wanna leave you alone tonight, Kath. So Crutchie, it ok if she sleeps over?” 

“S’long as there’s no hanky panky,” he replied. Setting Kath off into still more giggles. 

“Alright. I promise,” Jack chuckled. “Now c’mon, Blink really needs his beauty sleep. I mean have you seen that face of his?” 

Still more giggles. If anything, the alcohol should make Jack feel good about his joke because right now Kath thought that everything was nothing short of hilarious. 

“Alright. Time to get up.” 

Kath held out her arms for Jack to pull her up. He obliged before doing the same for Crutchie. Katherine sat there as the room spun around her. She frowned and made the executive decision to remain seated. 

Catching the look on her face Jack knelt beside her. “You ok there, Ace?” He asked gently. She shook her head no. No, she was not ok right now and would like for Blink’s light to stay in one place please and thank you. “Can you walk?” Jack asked again, still in that kind tone. Again, Katherine shook her head. “Alright, hold on. If you need to throw up here’s the garbage can,” he pressed the bucket into her hands and went to murmur to Crutchie. After a few seconds Jack got back to his feet and laughed a little. “You really are quite the pair. Both too drunk to walk straight.” He stuck his head out into the hall and yelled for someone. 

A few seconds later Finch appeared. He informed Jack that Spot had just left with Race slung over his shoulders so Jack could either take Finch or leave him. Jack laughed and motioned to the bed, telling Finch to pick his poison. Finch immediately walked over to Crutchie and crouched down so the other boy could get on his back. Jack gently removed the trash can from Katherine’s arms before lifting her bridal style. He thanked Blink and Mush as they passed through the living room. They waved and said to text them in the morning. After that Kath closed her eyes, it helped with her sudden nausea.

Then next morning Kath opened her eyes to find herself cuddled up next to Jack in his bed, still wearing her clothes from the night before and uncomfortably tangled in her sweater. Her head was pounding and her mouth dry, so she laid there rather than attempt to get up and risk making the hangover worse. It was slowly registering on her that she had to go to the bathroom and was debating how to best get out of bed when a loud groan was heard from the other side of the room.

Jack laughed, causing Katherine to shake slightly and worsening her headache which resulted in a groan of her own. Which only made Jack laugh more. She was already getting a migraine, so Kath figured she could rush to the bathroom to pee and throw up if need be. She opened the door as she washed her hands before slumping to the floor in front of the toilet. Jack walked in and handed her a bottle of water and two ibuprofen. She thanked him, took the pills, drank half the bottle, and curled up on the cold tile floor.

What could have been minutes or years later, Kath lost all sense of time when she wallowed in hungover misery, Crutchie came to kick her out so he could use the bathroom and shower. Kath moved her pity party back to Jack’s bed where he presented her with a steaming hot cup of black coffee. Which she practically inhaled.

“With everyone being in various states of hungover we’ve decided to cancel the frisbee game today,” Jack murmured as he took her now empty mug and replaced it with a full one. “So we’re all just going to Jacobi’s for cures. When Crutchie gets out you can grab a shower and get changed then we’ll go.”

Kath looked up at him blearily. “Don’t you need one too?” she asked though her voice came out as more of a croak.

“I’ve been awake and ready for an hour or so now, Kath. I just like cuddling with you.” He smirked but the red that tipped his ears gave away his sincerity. Katherine smiled at him over her coffee.

Soon Kath was washed and dressed in the spare clothes that she had taken to keeping in Jack and Crutchie’s dorm room. Though she had swiped one of Jack’s sweatshirts.

Like most of his clothes it was slightly too big on her and there was paint on it. This one had bright green, white, and a unique shade of maroon on the dark blue cuff of the left sleeve.

She’d thanked her lucky stars as she dug through her purse and emerged victorious with a pair of sunglasses. She never would have made the walk in the bright mid-morning sun without them.

When they got to Jacobi’s most of the boys were already there and looking a little worse for the wear too. Racetrack had a pair of mirrored aviators on that he refused to take off, which matched the bright blue plastic pair that Crutchie was also sporting. Blink winced every time someone spoke above a whisper or silverware clinked too hard against a plate. Finch was shoveling greasy potatoes into his mouth as though it was the last food on earth. Spot had an ice cream sundae and the largest glass of tomato juice Katherine had ever seen. The combination made her already tight stomach roll but to each their own when it came to morning after remedies.

For her part Kath ordered pancakes and black coffee as she settled into the booth between Mush and Jack. Both of whom seemed fine and she hated them for it. They all commiserated in semi-shared misery as they ate. As the caffeine started to do its job Katherine began to perk up. She still silently despised Mush who never seemed to get hangovers and Jack who had paced himself the night before. Although Race’s moaning and groaning did make up for it. He and Blink seemed to be the worse off if their grumbling was anything to go by.

Katherine was feeling better as she collected all the boys’ bills, spending her father’s money on her friends always made her feel a little better and they were all too sick or tired to protest.

Spot had gone from forlorn and withdrawn back to sarcastic and smirking, whatever the secret his weird breakfast seemed to do the trick. Crutchie was still unusually silent, his sun glasses still on but Race had pushed his onto the top of his head.

By the time they were all paid Mr. Jacobi was on his fourth time walking past with raised brows, laughing slightly at the sorry sight they all made. This pretty much decided that it was time for the group to move on, either to sleep it off or get to work on essays and such that had been neglected in favor of the party.

Regardless of how miserable they might have felt waking up this morning, Katherine knew that they had all enjoyed the party. She felt her lips twitching up into a smile as she remembered the look of shock on Jack’s face. Dancing to Hollaback Girl with Crutchie and Finch. Blink and Mush losing miserably to Albert and Elmer in beer bong. Jack shouting the lyrics to Big Fun when Race hijacked the speakers. Spot shooing someone off from her box of wine while yelling something to the effect of: “how could they get into college if they couldn’t read?” Specs reciting court cases he was supposed to know for a test on Monday and a very patient friend of Jack’s from the theater department nodding along as he explained them.

She grabbed Jack’s hand as they walked back to campus. “You look happy,” he said when he noticed her smile.

“I am. It was a good weekend.”

Jack smiled back at her and kissed her cheek. “Yeah, it was.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you caught the cameos then congrats! If not and you're curious they are Rachel Elizabeth Dare from Percy Jackson, Sarah from Labyrinth, Clary Fray and Jace Lightwood from The Mortal Instruments, and Karen, Ana, Kyle, and Jimmy from Smash. They're not here forever, Jack just needed some more art and theater friends and they fit the bill.


End file.
